Identity

In my journey to find my identity in Christ I have searched the Bible for what it says, then later forget what it says and feel shameful, realize I am a son of God, and then forget the significance. I wake up some mornings and declare that I will not let the world define who I am, and then later that day feel envious of people who have it "better than I do" in a very worldly standard. However, I have come to the realization that the Godly qualities and character statements God promises are just... there. They are true, real, not in the distance, but actually manifested in who I am. The problem is whether or not I recognize these truths, or instead let lies define who I am.

A lie I have been wrestling with for a long time is "I'm not good enough." Or, "I don't have what it takes." Growing up, I came to the conclusion that I was "weak." Nobody likes to feel weak. In fact it makes me uncomfortable just writing about feeling weak. Often times, though, I have tried to be strong in my own strength. It just doesn't work. The more I surrender myself to God, submit to his will, obey what he calls me to do, and spend time in his presence, strength just happens. When I focus on all the things in my life that I feel I need to overcome, I get tunnel vision on trying to fix things and I forget the very answer to these problems that literally dwells within my very body; the Holy Spirit. 

One of the identity statements I chose to carry with me this week was "I am a son of God; God is spiritually my Father (Rom. 8:14,15; Gal. 3:26; 4:6). Thinking about God as my actual Father blown my mind. Like I still don't think I fully understand what this actually means because it is so awesome. God, my father, who is perfect in every way, teaches me, builds me up, strengthens me, loves me, and takes me on wild adventures. When I think of Jesus, I literally just want to just run up to him and embrace him in a huge hug. The other night my roommate, Zack, and I were sitting in the living room and prayed that Jesus would come chill with us on the couch. It would be so awesome! I just want to be with Jesus and spend time with him in person. But I know that must wait. However, I do feel like I truly love Jesus. When I am in his presence, everything is just washed away and I feel like I can go conquer the world. God is my strength. Not myself, not what the world says, but my Dad, my Friend, and my Counselor. 

The word I feel God is speaking to me is "remain." John 15:4 says, " Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me." In a very practical sense, I want to remain in Jesus by keeping him priority. This means my time with him in the mornings, before anything else. It means choosing to follow where he leads me instead of what I want to do. I know that through spending time with God, whether in the morning during my reading, or during a prayer walk behind Wallace Marine Park, he will continue to help me recognize who he has made me to be and help me accept the promises he has given us.